Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground → Contents

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1966, 1998


a boy and a girl went out hiking, A Cannable King, A Cannibal King, A fat hen, A horse, a flea, and three blind mice, a sigh, agadoo do do do, all the girls in France, all the girls in spain, Also to Frere Jacques, although it goes with a sterylized c. o. c. k. so basically like this, ambition, amputees, Another version of this song was called Down by the Bank, another version of tiny tim, another version to hello operator, another version!!, apple on a stick, Apples on a stick, arsehole song, Ass 'Ole, asshole / arsehole song, Asshole, asshole, a soldier I shall be To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee Fuck you, fuck you, fuck Eure-ocity Fight for the ol’ cunt, fight for the ol’ cunt, fight for the whole country, At a minute or two 'til two, away to the woods


baby (Your baby has gone down the plug'ole), Baby baby, Banana Split - Apple on a stick, banana splits, bangers and mash, batman, batman, beans beans, beans, beans, belches, belly belly, bestiality's best, Betty Batter, beverly hillbillies, big ben, big fat tom, boy stood on the burning deck (the...), boys go to Mars, build a bonfire, bull (milk a... ), bum tit tit, bunny-foo-foo


Cat's got the weasels, charlie had a pigeon, chinaman had a wife, Chinese restaurant, ching chong chinaman, chin chin chinaman, chinky chinky charlie, chocolate aeroplane, Cinderella, cinderella, coca cola went to town, coca-cola went to town, coco pops advert, coffin nails, Comet, comet, copy cat, Cottonville, crap limericks and other odd little odes


dairy song (the... ), daisy daisy, dallas, dan dan the outhouse man, davy crockett, debbie, deck the halls, diarrhea bump bump, diarrhea uh uh, diarrhoea, diarrhoea, dipping, Dodi and Di, donald duck, Donnie Macca, dont eat the NAAFI bread, down, down, baby, Down by the River, down by the river where the long grass grows, down in alabama, down in the basement, down in the jungle, down in the lavatory, down in the valley, down in the valley / down the back alley, down in the valley where the green grass grows, Durex


edinburgh, edinburgh, eee by gum, eeny meeny, eenie meenie minie mo, eli, pickle-eye, english country garden


fankee foodle, farmer giles, farmers in the meadow, fart, fart, fart-man, fart poem, fatty and skinny, fatty and skinny, ffff, fifty cents, Follow on from liar liar ..., foot and mouth rhymes, fraggle rock, fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear


gay chicken, gay school, genie song, georgie best, Georgie Porgie, german in the grass, glory, glory, glory, glory hallelujiah, god made man, goin’ on an overnight, Gopher Guts, great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts, great green grimes of greasy grimy gopher guts, Green Golly Custard, guinness for dinner


He jumped from 20,000 feet, he-man and the masters of the universe, 'Headed for second', Heinz Baked Beans advert, heres a little song that i made up with my friend at school and spread widely throughout the school, hey pakistani, Hickory dickory dock, hitler has only got one ball, hi, hi, hooley dooley, Hoover advert, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, hunch bunch, call the judge, hymns and arias


I'll be up your flue in a minute or two, i'm rubber and you're glue., I'm the devil, I'm the king of the castle, I farted, I have a little mini, I let a fart..., I like coffee, I saw Esau, I see london, I thought it was...., I want to be a bravo ranger, I was walking down the lane, I was walking through the jungle, I was walking through the jungle, i went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread...., I wish I were, I wish I were a furry worm, Ibble Obble Black Bobble, if your boyfriends nose is runny, im just sending another version we used to sing, In 1954, In 1986, In days of old, in days of old..., in days of old..., in my prison cell I sit, In the Land of Oz, In the Land of Oz, In the land of oz, in the land of oz, In the land of OZ..., in the philharmonic hall, In the south of France, Ink, Pink, you Stink, ink pink, inky pinky parlez vous, Inky Pinky Ponky, It's not the cough, it's the same the whole world over


jack and jill, jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack fell down and pulled down his fly and asked 'do u wanna?'jill said yes pulled up her dress and had little fun.jack and jill went up the hill and now they have a son., jack be nimble, Jack the Necrophiliac, jack the necrophiliac, Jenny was a baker, jesus christ superstar, Jim (An accident happened to my brother... ), Jim (An accident happened to my brother... ), jingle bells, Johhny was a wanker, Johnsons Wax advert, joy to the world


K I pickle eye ..(? not sure where i was supposed to send this), k.i.s.s.i.n.g., kermit the frog, Kermit The Frog Song, ki-eye pickle-eye, kindergarden baby, kiss my arse, kissed a kangaroo, kookaburra


Land Of Oz Rhyme, leprosy, Let's all go to Tesco's, lets all go to Tesco's, li'l lulu, Liar Liar, liar liar, lion sleeps tonight (the... ), little birdie, little fly on the wall, little little monkey, little miss muffet, little puff of wind (a.... ), lucy had a baby, lulu had a baby


magic moments, mamma mia, man's occupation, Marsey dotes, Mares eat oats, Mary, Mary, quite contrary, mary had a little lamb, mary had a little lamb, meany meany custard, Michael Jackson, mickey thumb, milk, milk..., miss lulu had a steamboat, miss mary mack, miss mary mack, miss nancy have a baby, miss Suzy had a steamboat, miss suzy had a baby, missing/remaing lyrics to rudolph the red nose reindeer, Mo mi mo me, moses supposes..., Mrs Landers, murph got his bit, Murray Mints, my bonnie, my bonny, my boyfriend, My boyfriends name is Jimmy, My brother..., my country hated me, my friend billy, my little pony, my little pony skinny and boney, my mother, My mother said, my name is elvis presley, my old man's a dustman, My old mans a dust man, My version, mysterious cities of gold


Natalie Nicholson did a poo..., Nebuchadnezzar the King of the Jews, new version, no more pencils, no more books, nobby hall, nursery rhyme


oh, Josie, oh hark my pipes are calling, old king cole, old man of marine (the... ), Old Mother Hubbard, Old Sam and the musket, ollie, ollie ollie, on top of old smokie, one fine day in the middle of the night, one fine day in the middle of the night, one finger one thumb, one potato; one potater, ooh aah diddy!, order in the court, orgy at the zoo, orgy at the zoo, other fatty and skinny ryme


picture a cowboy, pink and yellow custard, Po Kare Kare Ana, Poetry from the toilet wall, poor little beggar girl, Popeye, popeye, popeye the sailor man, popeye the sailor man, portland bill, postman pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat Ran over his cat, Blood and guts were flying, Postman Pat was crying, now he has red wheels to match his van. or Postman Pat will never drink drive again., potty, prannet, prune, puff the magic dragon


quim (ode to a ...)


racing car number 9, rainbow, rainbow songs, raps, Re: Springtime in the Rockies, Rice an' peas an' ackee, ridin' along in my automobile, river carte, roses are red, row, row, row your boat, Row Row Row your boat, gently dowsn the stream, If you see a crocodile, Don't forget to scream!!, rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, rule brittania


Sally Morlands sells fish, salvation army, sam, sam, pick up thy musket, samson was a warrior, Say, Say my playmate, school dinners, scooby doo, seasons in the sun, Seedy Songs, etc., shit bugger arsehole piss cock fart, shit on the shovel, shit pit (the), short legged sailor, silence, sir jasper, skinny malinky, soldier in the grass, Song Two Irishmen, sound and vision, spiderman, springtime in the rockies, stately as a galleon, Stop the bus, sunshine girl, sweaty betty


ta ra ra boom de ay, ta ra ra boom de ay, taboo, taffy was a welshman, Tarzan, tarzan, tarzan swings, tarzan and the monkey man, teacher death megamix, teacher teacher I declare, The boy stood on the burning deck, The boy stood on the burning deck, The boy stood on the burning deck, The boy stood on the burning deck (aka Casabianca), The boy stood on the burning deck..., the cow, the dingo song, The dirty old vicar of Buckingham, the hole in the elephants bottom, the spades go, The Teddy Bears Picnic (To the tune of), the trebor mints ad, The way I remember it, there once was a man from Nantucket, there once was a young English girl, There was a wee man,, there was a young lady from Exeter, This Was The Name Of My Old School (Marist), Three little devils all dressed in red, three little monkeys, tiny little town, toilet humour, Tombstone Humour, toots tried to tutor two tutors, twas in the month of Birmingham, two chinamen, two dead boys, two irish men, two irish men, two irishmen, Two irishmen, Two irishmen digging a ditch, one said to the other one you dirty son of a..........


ulysses, ummaa, under the shade of the old beech tree bough, uptown wally, uptown girl


variation, Version we used to sing., vitalite ad


waltzing matilda, way down yonder in the bamboo patch, We're walking through the air,, we are the geordie girls,, we broke up; we break up, we three kings of orient are, we wanna wee, What's the time, what's the time?, what a mouth, What color blood, when susie was a baby, when you see a hearse go by, Whether the weather, while Shepherds washed their socks by night, while shepherds watched their flocks by night, whistle while you work, willy, winick


'x' more days of school


yellow belly custard, yellow butter, purple jelly, yellow matter custard, yellow rose of texas, you cannae shove your granny aff a bus, young harlot from Kew, Yum yum bubblegum


Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay