Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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1966
In 1966 The Queen pulled down her knicks She sniffed her bum And said yum yum It's better than Weetabix
1998
1998 yo momma tried to escape Hit the poll her boobies roll 1998 (ed: well ok it makes no sense... to me anyway... but it looked nice so here it is) =circa 1998 I suppose!
a boy and a girl went out hiking
A boy and a girl went out hiking, Of course they were both wearing shorts. They called at the old Pig and Whistle And ordered a couple of quarts. They came home late that evening, More…
A Cannable King
I know slightly different lyrics with a different ending for this song. The Cannable King with the big fat ring made love to the hula maid And every night in the pale moonlight More…
A Cannibal King
(ed: I think this is either a skipping song, or another handclapping song - if the latter... anyone know the sequence of claps?) A Cannibal King with a big nose ring Fell in love with More…
A fat hen
A fat hen, a couple of ducks A fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears A fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown bears, four more chairs A fat hen, a couple of ducks, three brown More…
A horse, a flea, and three blind mice
A horse, a flea, and three blind mice, Sat on a curbstone shooting dice. The horse, he slipped and fell on the flea. The flea said "Whoops, there's a horse on me."
a sigh
Cindy sent this in: Here's one my older sister came home with from her first day of kindergarten. "A sigh is but a breath of air Ascending from the heart. But when it goes the other More…
agadoo do do do
Agadoo do do do Maggie Thatcher on the loo Agadoo do do, She is having a poo To the left to the right She is sat on the toilet seat She will fart like a dog If you kick her in More…
all the girls in France
All the girls in france Do the hula hula dance And the way they shake It's enough to kill a snake When the snake is dead They put roses in their head When the roses die it is More…
all the girls in spain
All the girls in Spain Wash their knickers in champagne (or: Throw their knickers down the drain) All the boys in France Do the hula-hula dance (ed: I'm sure I remember this being More…
Also to Frere Jacques
School dinners, school dinners Concrete chips, concrete chips Soggy semolina,soggy semolina I fell sick, water quick!
although it goes with a sterylized c. o. c. k. so basically like this
One potao, two potato, three potato... four Five potato, six potato seven potatoes saw A poor little prostitute sittin' on the ground, Along came a tramp and payed 'er £5, Took 'er round More…
ambition
A man's ambition must be small To write his name on a shithouse wall =NZ (1950's - maybe long before?)
amputees
(ed: bizarrly sung to the tune of 'Yesterday' by The Beatles) Amputees, You don't even have to part their knees, You can slip it up their vadge with ease. Oh, I believe in amputees! More…
Another version of this song was called Down by the Bank
Down by the bank for some hanky panky where the bullfrogs jump from bank to banky with some eeps ipes opes oops ding dong and it lands on you!
another version of tiny tim
Mrs. Suzie had a baby, She named him tiny tim She put him in the bathroom to see if he could swim he drank up all the water he ate up all the soap he tried to eat the bathtub but it More…
another version to hello operator
lemonade lemonade 5 cents a glass, if ya dont like it shove it up your Ask me no more questions and Ill tell you no more lies Mary went to heaven and the steam boat went to hell Oh operator More…
another version!!
Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Mutilated monkey meat Dirty, terdy birdy feet French fried eyeballs on the side of bloody toes and i forgot my spoon so they gave me a More…
apple on a stick
(ed: Schoolyard 'hand clap' chant:) Apple on a stick Makes me sick Makes my heart beat '2-4-6' Not because you're dirty Not because you're clean Not because you kissed a boy More…