Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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coco pops advert
My names Coco I'm a monkey like you, I live on drugs and superglue too, I live in the jungle, in a cardboard box, But I'd rather have it off with Samantha Fox, Oh yeah... Version More…
coffin nails
(ed: Cigarettes were known by schoolboys to cause death long before it was popularly accepted. However, nobody really cared and 'fags' were often smoked behind bike sheds.... where lots of More…
Comet
Comet - it makes your teeth turn green Comet - it tastes like gasoline Comet - it makes you vomit So drink some Comet and vomit with me!
comet
Comet.. it makes your teeth turn green. Comet.. it makes your whole house clean. Comet - it makes you vomit. So drink Comet and vomit today. Variation: Comet - It makes your More…
copy cat
Copycat from Ballarat, Went to school and got the strap. Teacher said it wasn't fair, Because he lost his underwear. =AUS
Cottonville
Jerri has a problem. He writes: "My grandfather used to recite a poem that began, "about a mile from Cottonville there stands a village school... The middle is about kids More…
crap limericks and other odd little odes
(ed: I'll add new ones here as they arrive then we can maybe start a new section? Be warned - this page goes on... and on... and on...) There was a young man from Dundee, Was stung on More…
dairy song (the... )
(Substitute the names for any two people suspected of fancying each other) Version 1: Robert and Gemma in the dairy, Robert shows her his hairy canary. Nine months later, whizz More…
daisy daisy
(ed: sung to the tune of the same name) Daisy Daisy, give me your tits to chew I'm half crazy, my balls are black and blue I can't afford a johnny A rubber balloon will do But you More…
dallas
I'm rich, I'm rich My wife is a bitch And I own a big white car I live in a palace In a place called Dallas And they all call me J.R.
dan dan the outhouse man
Dan Dan the outhouse man, Chief inspector of the lavatory plan. Tissues, tissues, papers and towels, Listen to the rhythm of the rumbling bowels. Down, down, down, down, down, down, More…
davy crockett
(ed: sung to the theme of Davy Crockett which I'm *sure* you all know!) (chorus) Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the wild frontier. Born on a Powder-Horn in Tennessee, Shot General More…
debbie
Driving down the M1 in my motor bill Debbie done a fart and paralysed the wheel Wheels couldn't stand it, engine fell apart And all because of Debbie and her supersonic fart!
deck the halls
(ed: a little song chock filled with Christmas sentiment) Deck the halls with gasoline Fa la la la la, la la la la Strike a match and watch it clean Fa la la la la, la la la la More…
diarrhea bump bump, diarrhea uh uh
(ed: Contributor says this was a chant type song sung when she was a kid. Its only purpose was to gross each other out and disgust parents and teachers. There are supposed to be numerous More…
diarrhoea
(ed: I love kids - they make up songs and rhymes from the most basic of physical functions with total disregard for peoples finer sentiments ) Version 1: Diarrhoea Diarrhoea When More…
diarrhoea
Other versions diarrhoea, diarrhoea, When you're sitting on the loo, It can come out blue, diarrhoea, diarrhoea. Diarrhoea, diarrhoea, It's a bit of a worry, If you've just had More…
dipping
(ed: not sure if this selection actually counts as 'rhyme' or if it should be in the 'games' dictionary, or just in the general 'slang' one. Anyway - here is is... for now!) Basically More…
Dodi and Di
A song that did the rounds when Princess Diana died. Sung to the tune of 'We are catching fish again', or whatever it is called (ed: I thin kthe tune is Camptown Races?) 'Guess who More…
donald duck
Donald Duck did some muck On the kitchen floor. Daisy Duck licked it up And Donald did some more. =circa 1980's, UK (Mid)