Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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baby (Your baby has gone down the plug'ole)
(ed: heard this in my childhood and it's stuck ever since. Brilliant stuff if very sad. No attribution however. Seems to be by 'anonymous'.) (It was written using Cockney dialect, and this More…
Baby baby
(ed: sent in by Marianne who says it's a 'taunt') Baby baby stick your head in gravy, Wrap it up in bubble gum And send it to the navy.
Banana Split - Apple on a stick
(ed: Azizi sent this in an I felt it best to add it verbatim, although it could be slpit over a few pages.) Azizi writes: I've collected a lot of rhymes from children in the More…
banana splits
One Banana, Two Banana, Three Banana, Four, Four Banana Splits in the Second World War. One with a Tommy Gun, One with Stick, One with a Hand Grenade hanging from his ... Nah nah More…
bangers and mash
By definition 'bangers 'n' mash' is a dish made with cooked sausages served with boiled then mashed potatoes (not to be confused with Toad-In-The-Hole which is an entirely different dish More…
batman
Version 1: Na na na na na na na na Batman! Racing down the motorway, A lorry came the other way, Flatman! Version 2: Na na na na na na na na BATMAAAN Swingin' from an More…
batman
na na nana nana na na na na nana nana na na Batman took her to the movies na na nana nana na na na na nana nana na na Batman played with her little boobies na na nana nana na na na na nana More…
beans beans
BEANS BEANS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART THE MORE YOU EAT THE MORE YOU FART FART REAL HARD WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT AND LEAVE YOUR UNDERWEAR A BIG WIDE STRIPE
beans, beans
(ed: this is one of many songs about the 'benefits' of eating beans - any variations you recall will be much appreciated) Beans, beans, are good for your heart, They Make you strong More…
belches
(ed: apparantly sung to the the tune of the Welch's Grape Juice advert of which I know nothing) Oh take the time to taste your belches Bring it up and swallow slow Take the time to More…
belly belly
belly belly custard green snot pie mix it together with a dead dogs eye pour it on toast two inches thick and swollow it down with a nice cup of sick
bestiality's best
(ed: this odd offering is sung to the tune of "Tie Me Kangaroo Down":) Bestiality's best, boys, Bestiality's best.(shag a wallaby!) Bestiality's best,boys, Bestiality's best. More…
Betty Batter
Betty Batter had some butter, 'But,' she said, 'this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, It would make my batter bitter.'
beverly hillbillies
Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed Went for a wank in the garden shed In came Ellie dancing in the nude And up from his dick came a bubbling crude So lets get back to More…
big ben
Big Ben Strikes Ten Does a fart Now and then.
big fat tom
Big fat Tom came over the hill With 19 pounds of swinging meat, He saw Jane sitting on the grass, And shoved his meat pack up her arse, Jane let go with a great big fart And blew his More…
boy stood on the burning deck (the...)
(ed: there are more along these lines on the 'crap limericks' page) The boy stood on the burning deck Picking his nose like mad Rolling it into little balls And flicking them at his More…
boys go to Mars
Boys go to Mars to eat chocolate bars Girls go to Jupiter to get more Stupider! =AUS
build a bonfire
Build a bonfire, build a bonfire Put the teachers on the top Put old Thorpy in the middle And burn the bloody lot (Contributor's note: "Thorpy was the headmaster. When we went More…
bull (milk a... )
Milk a bull Milk a bull Only one tit and it's hard to pull =circa. 1940's - 1960's UK (Wa)