Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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fankee foodle
(ed: Erica kindly sent in the following) My friend from a fancypants private school taught me this version of "Yankee Doodle" in the mid 1970s. At the time we just thought it was More…
farmer giles
Farmer Giles was walking by When he heard a rumble in the sky He looked up and it came down Now his name is Farmer Brown
farmers in the meadow
(ed: This is similar in style and content to other poems of the genre) Farmers in the meadow, mowing all his grass, Along came a bee and stung him on the Ask no questions, tell no More…
fart, fart
(ed: sung - very roughly - to the tune of Scotland the Brave:) Fart, fart the beans are calling Must be the ones I ate this morning Off to the loo to do a phhhpt! in the loo If More…
fart-man
Fart-man rolling down the street, parlez-vous, Fart-man rolling down the street, parlez-vous, Fart-man rolling down the street, Knocks a copper off his feet, Schminky-pinky, More…
fart poem
Version 1: A fart is a kind of eruption, It comes from the city of bum, It travels down Trouser Leg Lane, And comes out with a musical hum - pppprrrrrrrrrrpp. Version 2: A More…
fatty and skinny
Fatty and Skinny went to the Zoo Fatty got lost in the Elephants poo Skinny went home to tell his mum But all he got was a smack on the bum, Also this from contributor who says the More…
fatty and skinny
Fatty and Skinny went to the Zoo Fatty got stuck in some elephant poo
ffff
Kermit the frog Got a kick in the knob For playing around with Miss Piggy He undid her zip and out popped her tit and out popped Kermits green willy
fifty cents
Ask your mother for fifty cents To see the lion jump the fence. He jumped so high He touched the sky And didn't come back Till the 4th of July Ask your mother for fifty more To see More…
Follow on from liar liar ...
When I was at school the witty retort to 'Liar Liar' was always ... I dont care, I dont care .. I'll just buy another pair!
foot and mouth rhymes
(ed: in 2000, there was an outbreak of 'foot and mouth disease' in South Wales, UK. These are examples of a type of black humour that passed around the newsgroups at the time) Here is More…
fraggle rock
Down at Fraggle Rock Grab a fraggle by its cock Swing it round and round your head Keep going Till the bastard's dead! Well now... Pete sent in a much fuller version... I like it! More…
fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear
Fuzzy wuzzy wuz a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fussy wuzzy wuzn't fuzzy, wuz he?