Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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I'll be up your flue in a minute or two
I'll be up your flue in a minute or two Said the lighthouse keeper to his daughter. Oh no you won't you silly old goat, I'll throw you in the water. I've seen it once, I've seen it More…
i'm rubber and you're glue.
When someone calls you names, you respond by reciting in an infuriating sing-song manner: I'm rubber and you're glue, Whatever you say, Bounces off me And sticks to you!" This More…
I'm the devil
I'm the devil, the dirty little devil I leave a trail of blood wherever I go. I delight, in the picking of a fight And that's all I've done today I poked pins, in my grannys double More…
I'm the king of the castle
I'm the king of the castle Get down you dirty racal Followed by a push....! (ed: My 4 year old daughter insisted I add this one... and why not!)
I farted
Mother invited the vicar And the vicar's wife to tea They searched the room And blamed the dog But it was really me I farted I farted I did a trouser cough I whistled through my More…
I have a little mini
I have a little Mini I drive it on the grass And if ya don't believe me I'll drive it up your arse.
I let a fart...
I let a fart behind a cart, it blew the wheel away. The wheel went into a butchers shop, He came out with a rusty gun By god you buggers i'll make you run!
I like coffee
I like coffee I like tea I like sitting on a black mans knee With a one and a two and a three (on three lift your skirt, turn tround quickly, bend over and show your bum)
I saw Esau
I saw Esau, sitting on a see-saw, I saw Esau, he saw me. I saw Esau, sitting on a see-saw, I saw Esau, he saw me. I saw Esau, he saw me, and she saw I saw Esau. (ed: while ostensibly More…
I see london
(ed: it's interesting that it doesn't rhyme if you say it in a southern (English) accent...) I see London I see France I can see your underpants. (or "I see xxxx's underpants" More…
I thought it was....
Miss Suzy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, when Suzy went to heaven, the steamboat went to hello operator, give me number 9, if you disconnect me, I'll chop off your behind the More…
I want to be a bravo ranger
(Contributor's note: "This one needs a "drill sergeant" type echo. I can't believe we sang this one on the school bus!") I want to be a Bravo Ranger (I want to be a Bravo More…
I was walking down the lane
I was walking down the lane Sniffing cocaine Police went by and shouted my name. I threw the tin out of the window Shouting "The mother fucker" I legged it. =circa 2005, More…
I was walking through the jungle
(ed: standard WARNING! - there is some racist content in first two songs.) Version 1: I was walking through the jungle with my cock in my hand Saying "hey mother fucker I'm the More…
I was walking through the jungle
I was walking through the junglewith my dick in my hand, The meanest mother-fucker in the Congo land, I looked up a tree, And what do i see? A mother-fucking monkey trying to pee on me. I More…
i went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread....
they rapped it up in a paper bag and this is what they said said said.. my name is k i pickle eye pickle eye k i humbum barry chocolate cherry walla walla whiskey chinese chopsticks chow More…
I wish I were
I wish I were the ring upon my true loves hand That way every time she wiped her ass I’d see the promised land
I wish I were a furry worm
I wish I were a furry worm And had a furry tummy I'd crawl inside a honey jar And make my tummy gummy.
Ibble Obble Black Bobble
Hi, You've mentioned in the page for eeny meany miney mo that you were looking for the rest of the words for ibble obble. the version we used to use was: Ibble, obble, black bobble ibble, More…
if your boyfriends nose is runny
If your boyfriends nose is runny, You might think its kind of funny But its not! (pronounced snot)