Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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Land Of Oz Rhyme
The Keisha Song "Take it Off" has driven me crazy as it uses the same melody and I couldn't remember the words until I googles and found the half verse In the Land of Oz Where More…
leprosy
(ed: also sung to the tune of 'Yesterday' by the Beatles) Version 1: Leprosy, I'm not half the man I used to be, Since I became an amputee. Oh, I believe in leprosy! Version More…
Let's all go to Tesco's
Our variation was ' they must be really cheap, he goes there every week.' Or 'he thinks it's really dear, he only goes there once a year' Depending if we thought the poor child we were More…
lets all go to Tesco's
Lets all go to Tesco's, Where (victims name here) buys his best clothes! He thinks they're realy nifty, They cost him/her one pound fifty! He thinks the're really cool, He wears them More…
li'l lulu
(ed: has a lot in common with other 'lulu' and 'lucy' verses, but what the hell) Lulu had a steamboat The steamboat had a bell Lulu went to heaven The steamboat went to... Lulu More…
Liar Liar
Liar Liar pants on fire Your hair sticks up like telephone wire, Cut it long Cut it short Cut it with a knife and fork! also Liar Liar over there, Made your father cut your hair, More…
liar liar
Liar, liar Your pants on fire Your hair's sticking up Like a telephone wire Alternate last line: Your arse is for hire
lion sleeps tonight (the... )
(ed: sung to the tune of the same name) Version 1: In the jungle, with George and Bungle Zippy's having fun Geoffrey's swimmin', with naked women and you can see his bum More…
little birdie
Little birdie flying by Drops a message from the sky Angry farmer wipes his eye But then thanks god that cows don't fly. =UK (Wal.)
little fly on the wall
Little fly on the wall Have you any sense at all, Can't you see this wall's been plastered, Now you're stuck you stupid... fly
little little monkey
Little little monkey, Swinging through the country, Fell down a black hole, Hurt his little arsehole, What colour was the blood? (Person stopped on says a colour - often red due to More…
little miss muffet
Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Her knickers all tattered and torn. It wasn't the spider That sat down beside 'er; It was Little Boy Blue with the horn.
little puff of wind (a.... )
A little puff of wind comes from the heart Goes along the backbone and generates a fart Farts are very useful they put your mind at ease Cos when you go to bed at night they keep away More…
lucy had a baby
(ed: this has a lot in common with another version called 'lulu had a baby) Version 1: Lucy had a baby She called it Sonny Jim She took it to the swimming baths to see if it More…
lulu had a baby
(ed: actually a variation on 'miss lulu' rhymes but may as well be here as anywhere) Lulu had a baby she called him Sonny Jim She took him to the bathroom to see if he could swim He More…