Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
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magic moments
(ed: sung to the tune of the same name as sung by Perry Como 200 years ago) Remember the night I needed a shite I waited for hours Jumped over the wall And pissed on the lawn And More…
mamma mia
(ed: a version not sung by Abba) It's diarrhoea My my, running down my left leg Mamma Mia Here I go again My my, Like a smelly brown egg Ooooh, and I'm broken hearted Ooooh, More…
man's occupation
It's a man's occupation, To stick his cockulation, In a woman's ventilation, To increase the population, Of the younger generation, Want a demonstration? =AUS
Marsey dotes, Mares eat oats
Maresy dotes And dosey dotes And liddle lambsey tivey A kiddley tivey too. Wooden ewe? Mares eat oats And does eat oats, And little lambs eat ivy. A Kid will eat ivy too, More…
Mary, Mary, quite contrary
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, How does your garden grow? I live in a flat you stupid prat So how the fuck should I know? Mary, Mary, quite fat and hairy, Fell down the loo last night, More…
mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb. She tied it to a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its arse, And turned its wool to nylon. And now yet more little rhymes based on word play. As usual, the last More…
mary had a little lamb
Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was black as ink. It chewed the paper off the walls, and spit it in the sink.
meany meany custard
Meany Meany Custard, Green Snob Pie All mixed up in a dead dogs eye (ed: I remember reciting this but can't remember *why*) =circa 1950's, UK (Wal.) ◊ (ed: another More…
Michael Jackson
Michael jackson came to town Pepsi-cola shot 'im down Coca-cola lit 'im up Now we all drink seven up! Pepsi-cola came two town Coca-cola shot 'im down Dr. Pepper fixed 'im up Now More…
mickey thumb
I went into a treacle shop To buy half a pound of treacle And who do you think I met? Mickey Thumb. He asked me if I'd go to the fair, And I thought a bit And I thought a bit And I More…
milk, milk...
(ed: vaguely relating to an anatomical description of the female form - sorta:) Version 1: Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Turn the corner, Chocolate's made. Version 2: (original More…
miss lulu had a steamboat
(ed: another popular rhyme with many variants) Canadian version Miss Lulu had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell, Miss Lulu went to heaven. the steamboat went to Hell-o More…
miss mary mack
This was a very popular children's hand game sent on to us by Anna. She says there a few variations so if anyone has others, please get them in to us before you forget them: Miss Mary More…
miss mary mack
I always heard this song with another verse: after the elephants jumped high, "they jumped so low (low, low) they stubbed their toe (toe, toe) And that was the end (end, end) Of More…
miss nancy have a baby
Miss Nancy have a baby. She call it Tiny Tim. She put it in the bath tub To see if it can swim. It dive to the bottom It dive to the top. Miss Nancy get excited And grab him by his More…
miss Suzy had a steamboat, miss suzy had a baby
(ed: Most of this seems to be 'Miss Lulu' by another name) The contributor says she and her friend Anne always sang "Miss Suzy" as a hand clapping rhyme, though supposes you could More…
missing/remaing lyrics to rudolph the red nose reindeer
One snowy chrismas eve Santa came to say; ''Rudolph your cock glows so bright why dont you come and fuck my wife tonight?'' so Rudolph went and had had some and went down in... histoooory More…
Mo mi mo me
Mo mi mo me send me a toe, Me me mo mi get me a mole, Mo mi mo me send me a toe, Fe me mo mi get me a mole, Mister kister feet so sweet, Mister kister where will I eat !?
moses supposes...
An ancient little tongue twister. One version was used in film 'Singing in the Rain' by the late great Donald O'Connor: Moses supposes his toeses are roses, But Moses supposes More…
Mrs Landers
(ed: Apparantly, this featured in a South Park episode (406 - "Fingerbang") so we've borrowed it for the site in case it get lost somewhere. Apologies to the show's writers but it was More…