Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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waltzing matilda
Version 1: Waltzing Matilda Who bloody killed 'er Laid her in the grass With a shovel up her arse Version 2: Waltzing Matilda Who fuckin' killed her? Lying in the grass More…
way down yonder in the bamboo patch
Way down yonder in the bamboo patch Beat my meat with a monkey wrench Missed my meat Hit my balls Shit all over my overalls
We're walking through the air,
(ed: Tune: "The Snowman" (As in film)) We're walking through the air, I've lost my underwear I'm going to Mothercare To buy Another pair To wear...
we are the geordie girls,
We are the geordie girls, We are the hairy girls We wear our dungarees To show our sexy knees. The dirty boy next door He got me on the floor He done me sixty times Then he More…
we broke up; we break up
We broke up, we broke up We don't care if the school blows up No more English, no more French No more sitting on the old school bench If the teacher interferes Tie him up and box More…
we three kings of orient are
We three kings of orient are One on a motorbike One in a car One on a scooter Pipping his hooter Following yonder star Oh, star of wonder Star of light Sit on a box of dynamite More…
we wanna wee
We wanna, We wanna, We wanna wee If you don't stop for us, We're gonna do it on the bus! Rick tells us 'We Wanna Wee' has evolved and the version listed has been added to by More…
What's the time
What's the time Half past nine Hang your knickers on the line, If a copper comes along Hurry up and put them on
what's the time?
Version 1: What's the time? Half past nine Hang your knickers on the washing line When they're done, bring them in Put them in a biscuit tin (NB: dates back to at least the More…
what a mouth
(ed: I recall this from back in the early days of rock 'n roll in the UK being sung by Tommy Steele. It's took me nearly 40 years to lean it was actually an old 'music hall' ditty written More…
What color blood
Here's a choosing rhyme from Ellejay; with each word, you point to a different person. My mother and your mother were out hanging clothes. My mother gave your mother a sock in the nose. More…
when susie was a baby
When Susie was a baby, A baby Susie was She went a cry, cry, cry, cry (rubs eyes) When Susie was a toddler, A toddler Susie was She went a scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble More…
when you see a hearse go by
When you see a hearse go by, You will be the next to die. They wrap you up in a big white sheet, And drop you down 6 long, long feet. Worms crawl in and worms crawl out Worms play More…
Whether the weather
Version 1: Whether the weather be cold, Or whether the weather be hot. We'll weather the weather, Whatever the weather, We'll weather it, Like it or not! Version 2: Whether More…
while Shepherds washed their socks by night
While Shepherds washed their socks by night, All seated round the tub, The Angel of the the Lord came down, And gave them all a scrub. =AUS
while shepherds watched their flocks by night
While shepherds washed their socks by night All watching ITV The angel of the Lord came downAnd switched to BBC
whistle while you work
(ed: sung to the Disney tune of the same name: Version 1: Whistle while you work Hitler was a jerk Mussolini bit your wienie Now it doesn't work. Version 2: Whistle More…
willy
Willy had a crocodile It snapped in the morning It snapped in the night It snapped once too many times and snapped off his... Willy had a ...etc. etc (repeat first verse) (ed: More…
winick
(Contributor's note:"I went to school in the northwest. There is a mental hospital near Warrington called Winick, about which we sang the following rhyme..") Winick, Winick, Winick More…