miss Suzy had a steamboat, miss suzy had a baby

1. (ed: Most of this seems to be 'Miss Lulu' by another name)

   The contributor says she and her friend Anne always sang "Miss Suzy" as a hand clapping rhyme, though supposes you could just sing it with out any percussion accompaniments:

   Miss Suzy had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell (ding ding)
   Miss Suzy went to heaven, the steamboat went to
   Hello operator, please give me number nine
   If you disconnect me, I'll cut off your
   Behind the 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass
   Miss Suzy fell upon it and it cut her in the
   Ask me no more questions and tell me no more lies
   The boys are in the bathroom zipping up their
   Flies are in the meadow, bees are in the park
   Miss Suzy and her boyfriend were kissing in the
   D. A. R. K. D. A. R. K. D. A. R. K. Dark
   If you ever get hit with a bucket of shit,
   be sure to close your eyes.

   next version:

   Miss Suzy had a steam boat,
   The steam boat had a bell,
   The steam boat went to heaven
   Miss Suzy went to.... (last word of the verse is first word of next. . .)
   Hello operator,
   Please give me number nine,
   And if you disconnect me,
   I'll kick you in your....
   Behind the 'fridgerator,
   There was a piece of glass,
   Miss Suzy fell upon it,
   And cut her little....
   Ask me no more questions,
   And tell me no more lies,
   The boys are in the bathroom,
   Zipping up their....
   Flies are in the city,
   And bees are in the park,
   Miss Suzy and her boyfriend,
   Are kissing in the
   D-A-R-K D-A-R-K Dark, Dark,
   Darker than the ocean,
   Darker than the sea,
   Darker than the underwear
   My mommy puts on me!
   I know you know my mommy,
   I know you know my pa,
   I know you know my sister
   With the 42 inch bra!

   She isn't sure if this was part of the original song but always finished of with these verses.

   Heeeey girls!
   Wanna have some fun?
   Here comes John
   With his pants undone!
   He can wibble he can wobble
   He can do the splits
   But I betcha five dollars
   He can't do this!
   Close your eyes,
   And count to ten,
   If you miss,
   You marry him!

   (At this point you were supposed to close you eyes and and continue the hand clapping pattern without missing. At the same time you counted out to ten. 'John' could be replaced with any boy's name who was coming your way.)

   Yet another version:

   Miss Suzy had a steamboat,
   The steamboat had a bell.
   Miss Suzy went to heaven,
   The steamboat went to...
   Hello operator,
   Please give me number nine,
   If you disconnect me,
   I'll chop off your behind...
   The 'frigerator, there was a piece of glass,
   Miss Suzy sat upon it,
   And broke her little
   Ask me no more questions,
   Please tell me no more lies,
   The boys are in the bathroom,
   Zipping up their...
   Flies are in the meadow
   Bees are in the park.
   Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
   Are kissing in the
   Dark! Dark!
   Dark is like a movie
   A movie's like a show
   A show is like a TV set
   And that is all I know.
   I know I know my ma.
   I know I know my pa.
   I know I know my sister
   With the forty acre bra!

   Lordy... yet more :) This time from 'merry popins'...hmmm...

   Mary had a steamboat
   steamboat had a bell "ding ding"
   Mary went to heaven and steamboat went to
   hello operator please give me number nine
   and if you disconnect me I'll kick you in
   behind the yellow curtain there laid a piece of glass,
   Mary sat upon it and broke her little
   ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more lies
   the boys are in the washroom zipping up
   the flies are in the city
   the bees are in the park
   Mary and her boyfriend are kissing in the
   D-A-R-K dark is like a movie
   movies like a show
   ask me more questions cause that is all i
   know you know ya ma
   i know you know my pa
   i know you know my sister with 80 meter bra

   Source: circa 1950's +, USA

2. Another version from Vani:

   Miss Suzy had a baby,
   She named him Tiny Tim,
   She put him in the bath tub,
   To see if he could swim,

   He drank up all the water,
   He ate up all the soap,
   He tried to eat the bat tub,
   But it wouldn't go down his throat,

   Miss Suzy called the Doctor,
   Miss Suzy called the Nurse,
   Miss Suzy called the lady with the alligator purse

   (ed: I'm sure the remainder of this goes as follows:

   Dead said the doctor
   Dead said the nurse
   Dead said the lady with the alligator purse

   But he wasn't!

3. Miss suzy had a baby,
   She named him tiny Tim,
   She put him in the toilet,
   To see if he could swim.
   He swam around the bottom,
   he swam around the top.
   Miss suzy got excited
   And she flushed him down the pot pot pot.

4. (ed: and yet another version from Cassie( Miss Suzy had a steamboat
   The steamboat had a bell (ding ding)
   Miss Suzy went to heaven
   The steamboat went to
   HELLO operator
   Give me #9
   The boys are in the bathroom
   Zipping up their
   Flies are in the meadow
   Bees are in the barn
   Miss Suzy and her boyfriend
   Are kissing in the
   D. A. R. K., D. A. R. K.
   DARK DARK DARK
   Is like a movie
   A movie's like a show
   A show is like a theater
   And that is all I know.
   I know my ma
   I know, I know my pa
   I know, I know my sister with the 80 acre bra
   My mom is Godzilla
   My dad is king kong
   My brother is the idiot who made me sing this song.