Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed
Went for a wank in the garden shed
In came Ellie dancing in the nude
And up from his dick came a bubbling crude

So lets get back to Jed in the garden shed
Shagging Ellie-May till his balls went red
In came Granny dancing in the nude
Jed said "Fuck off Granny, I'm not shagging you"

I wanna tell ya story 'bout a man named Fred
He couldn't find the toilet so he went behind the shed,
He had no toilet paper, wiped his backside with a leaf,
Along came Granny and kicked him in the teeth.