(Substitute the names for any two people suspected of fancying each other)

Version 1:

Robert and Gemma in the dairy,
Robert shows her his hairy canary.
Nine months later, whizz bang pop,
Out comes a baby with a great big cock.

Version 2:

Robert and Gemma, down at the dairy
Robert pulled it out, it was big and hairy
Gemma said Wow! What a whopper!
Let's get down and do it proper!

Version 3:

Robert and Gemma down at the dairy
Robert got it out, it was small and not hairy
Gemma said Ugh! What a maggot!
You're not putting that in me, you ugly faggot!