Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

diarrhoea

(ed: I love kids - they make up songs and rhymes from the most basic of physical functions with total disregard for peoples finer sentiments )

Version 1:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you're waiting with your mum it come out ya* bum
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea

Version 2:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you're running up the stairs it comes out yer* flares
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea

* = used in many Liverpool playgrounds, indeed enhancing rhyming effect

Version 3:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
It comes down your legs like 2 sweaty eggs
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea

Version 4:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
It comes out your bum like pedigree chum
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 5:

I was walking down the lane
And I felt a funny pain
diarrohea
diarrohea
so I went behind a bush
and it came out in a rush
diarrohea
diarrohea.

Version 6:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
It shoots out your bum like a bullet from a gun
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 7:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you come into your home and your pants are full of foam
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 8:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
I was running in a race
and I felt some on my face
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 9:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
I was sitting in a tree
And it trickled on my knee
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 10 (American One):

When you're sliding into first and you feel something burst
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you're sliding into second and your shorts are fuller than you've reckoned
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you're sliding into third and you feel that gushy turt
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea

When you're sliding into home and you feel the warm foam
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea

Version 11:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
It's thin, it's runny and it isn't very funny Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 12:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
It's thin and it's brown and can happen to a clown
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 13:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you're driving in your Chevy and your shorts are getting heavy
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 14:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When you're driving in your Ford and your pants are fulla turd
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 15:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
I was walking in the attic and my bum went automatic
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 16:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
When yer lyin in yer bed and its runnin down yer leg
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 17:

Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea
You can cook it in a pot, you can serve it while its hot
Diarrhoea
Diarrhoea.

Version 18:

When you're sittin' on a cushion and you really feel it pushin'
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt (a raspberry sound)
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt.

People think it's funny, but it's really wet and runny.
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt.

Feels like an egg when it's dripping down your leg.
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt.

People say it's gross, but it's really nice on toast
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt
Diarrhea! thbbpppt, thbbpppt.

No pain, no strain, just sit and let it drain
Diarrhea! Aaaahhh!

Version 19:

(ed: doing well here... must've struck a rich vein of smut. This latest sent in by Pete... for which we are very appreciative!)

Pete says "Like all kids worldwide, we also used to delight in singing variations on the Diareah (sic) Song. In our West Midlands playground it was usually sung to roughly the tune of Beat It by Michael Jackson, but we had some stanzas not included on the site.

I was sitting in my class
When it came out of my arse
Diarrohea, diarrohea

Teacher wasn't in
So I did it in the bin
Diarrohea, diarrohea

When she got back
I got a big slap
Diarrohea, diarrohea

The following scenarios were also popular..

I was climbing up a mountain
When it came out like a fountain

Playing at the fair
And I felt a rush of air

And of course

I was walking down the road
When I felt a heavy load

A friend of mine quite recently stated that his ultimate ambition is to get into a recording studio and record a full-on heavy rock version of the the timeless ode to runny-tummys..

(ed: I can hardly wait) (ed: and here's yet another variation from 'aceron' in Northeast Iowa)

When you're sliding into first and your pants start to burst
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)
When you're sliding into second and you need some disinfectant
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)
When you're sliding into third and you slip on your own turd
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)
When you're sliding into home and your pants are full of foam
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)
When you're going up a ladder and you hear something splatter
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)
When you're sitting in a tree and it trickles down your knee
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast
Diarrhea (uh uh)
Diarrhea (uh uh)

(ed" he says he sang other lyrics, too, but didn't recall them))