Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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english country garden

Version 1:

What do you do if you wanna do a poo in an English country garden?
You pull down yer pants and paralyse the ants in an English country garden
Then get a leaf and wipe your underneath in an English country garden
Then get a spade and bury what you made in an English country garden

Version 2:

What do you do when you want to do a poo,
In an English Country Garden?
Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants,
In an English Country Garden.
Go find a leaf to wipe your underneath,
In an English Country Garden.
Roll it in a ball and throw it over the wall,
In an English Country Garden.
Run for your life 'cos it hit the Vicar's wife,
In an English Country Garden.

Version 3:

How many times have you had it off in an English country garden?
I've had it twice and I think it's very nice in an English country garden
Buttercups and hollyhocks, sticking up your bollycocks
Small creepy crawlies crawling up your arse
With your hand on her tit and your finger on her clit
In an English country garden

Version 4:

What do you doo if you need the loo
In an English Country Garden?
Pull down your pants and water all the plants
In an English Country Garden
And if there's no toilet roll
Please don't despair
Just grab a leaf and wipe your underneath
So thats what you do if you need the loo
In an English Country Garden

Version 5:

How many ants can you fit in your pants in an English country garden?
Not more than one cos you're bound to itch your bum in an English country garden.