Seedy Songs and Rotten Rhymes - the poetry of the playground

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miss lulu had a steamboat

  1. (ed: another popular rhyme with many variants)

    Canadian version
    Miss Lulu had a steamboat,
    The steamboat had a bell,
    Miss Lulu went to heaven.
    the steamboat went to
    Hell-o operator,
    Please give me number nine,
    And if you disconnect me,
    I'll boot you in behind
    The yellow curtain,
    There was a piece of glass,
    Miss Lulu sat upon it,
    And hurt her big fat
    Ask me no more questions,
    I'll tell you no more lies,
    The boys are in the kitchen,
    Pulling up their flies
    Are in the east,
    The bees are in the west,
    The girls are in the washroom,
    Pulling up their pants.

    Contributor says she chanted this to one of the 'pat-a-cake games. They thought they were being so bad for "almost" cursing. Never got the full effect of the last lines until later, though.

    Source: circa 1990's, CAN (E)
  2. (ed: another version - this one from the USA)

    Miss Suzy had a steamboat
    The steamboat had a bell.
    Miss Suzy went to heaven and the steamboat went to
    Hello operator, please give me number nine,
    And if you disconnect me I will chop off your
    Behind the 'fridgerator, there was a piece of glass
    Miss Suzy sat apon it and she broke her little
    Ask me no more questions, I'll give you no more lies.
    The boys are in the bathroom, pulling down their
    Flies are in the meadow, bees are in the park,
    Miss Suzy and her boyfriend are kissing in the
    D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K, D-A-R-K
    Darker than the ocean, darker than the sea.
    Darker than the underwear my mommy put on me.
    I know you know my mother.
    I know you know my pa.
    I know you know my sister with the 80 dollar bra.
    My father is a lawyer, my mother wears a thong.
    My brother is the stupid one who made me sing this song!

    Source: circa 1980's, USA
  3. (Kentucky version)

    Lulu had a steamboat
    Steamboat had a bell
    Lulu went to heaven
    Steamboat went to hell-o operator
    Give me number nine
    If you don't I will kick
    You in your
    Behind the 'frigerator
    There was a piece of glass
    Little Lulu slipped and fell
    And cut her little
    Ask me no more questions
    I'll tell you no more lies
    That's what Lulu told me
    Before she slipped and died.