Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old old soul was he
He called for a light, in the middle of the night
To go to the WC
The moonlight shone on the lavatory door
The candle had a fit
Old King Cole fell down the hole
And swallowed a lump of shit.

Version 2:

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
And a merry old soul was he.
He called for a light in the middle of the night
To go to the W. C.
The W.C. was barred and so
He cried, he cried “It must be done”,
So out of the window he stuck his bum.

Now P.C. Plod was passing by
He received a sausage in the eye.
He turned to the North, he turned to the South,
He received another in the mouth.
He turned to the East, he turned to the West,
Swish swash, swish swash down his vest.